Getting pregnant is a lot harder than you think!

We've only made the decision fairly recently to actually actively start trying for a baby and after the first few months of unsuccessful trying we start to learn a Little bit more about how it all works.

Now I'm not talking about the birds and the bees but more ovulation testing kits, daily body temperatures and cervical mucus! Yes that is certainly the recipe for love making right there!

I've gone through my teens worrying that every sexual encounter 'might' end up in pregnancy and even though I was taking the pill would also use condoms to protect against STI's and a double pregnancy protection barrier.

But now I am understanding the process a lot more and realising that the egg only lives for 24 hours inside your body and you only have a fertile window of around 5 days per month AND this can change from month to month depending on your cycle..... WOAH THERE. I had this misguided conception (excuse the pun) that if you were having unprotected sex then you can get pregnant but the reality is there's a lot more involved and timing is pretty crucial.

So armed with all this extra knowledge it's time to start looking at the calendar and planning things a little more precisely to give us the best chance of conception.

Trying too hard to concieve

After several months of myself not taking contraception and getting my head into the idea that this was going to be a real thing and we were going to start trying to make our own family my fella was now also ready to start trying but it is a very, very scary thought.

For so many people starting a family is a natural easy mutual step in any relationship. Whereas after being together for nearly 9 years building a house and careers together it has been a huge decision to even contemplate trying to take the next step and it's scary!

We know when we should be fertile and should be doing the do but how on earth do you just crack on and do something as serious as change the rest of your lives and start the next chapter.

Let's just say, our first attempt did not go well! It was lovely and loving and romantic but it didn't end in the climax that we required to have our first shot at getting the job done.
I think we have spent so many months thinking about the possibilities and the pros and the cons and thought so much about our decision that the actual event  lost it's spark.

Here's to next month trying again to make our own little Panda Cub. I think we might need a lot more practise and a lot less pressure!

It's a funny one really, I have spent the last 16 years of my life trying not to get pregnant and just having sex as a pleasure but now suddenly sex is completely and utterly different and now we have a job to do it makes everything different.

I think we need to re-address our way of thinking and get back to young carefree loving sex together if we want this to work.

The biggest decision of my life

Where on earth do you start?

For years growing up I never and I mean NEVER wanted children. I wanted to be just like my great Aunty Amy and her husband in a loving happy relationship without a care in the world, a home, jobs, friends, money but most definitely not children.

I don't even really like children, I mean, they completely change your life, they use up all your money and well they are just annoying, and messy, and dirty and loud... I could go on listing the reasons why I don't want children.

And then it gets you wondering, should I have children? Why don't I want children? Am I selfish not yet wanting children? Am I normal not yet having a maternal instinct in my body?

Before long the years have flown by and I suddenly find myself the other side of 30, still childless and watching all my close friends and family starting their families and like a bullet to the head it then hit me. Holding onto my brand new nephew staring at him, feeding him and getting a warm fuzzy feeling inside it hit me that maybe just maybe was I finally now ready? I could have been drunk, this was over the Christmas festive period.

In the summer after reaching my 31st birthday I had already decided that I should think about having children before it might be too late and made the decision to stop taking my contraception. This wasn't completely a decision that I had made on my own and wasn't something that I had kept a secret from my partner but I knew that he, and even we weren't yet ready.
But it was the next step and although the permanent contraception was no longer we weren't activelt trying to concieve.

This was actually all rather exhilarating as it felt like we were teenagers again and felt like something slightly naughty compared to the usual regular safe sex.

As the months went by we discussed things more and more and we discussed baby names and finances and both became a lot more comfortable with the idea that this was definitely something that we really wanted to move ahead with.

As the months went on we were sleeping together without 'doing the do' and although In my head this was the next step by having unprotected sex I knew that my partner still wasn't ready and we discussed things further. It's a huge life changing decision and we both need to be ready.

Then as the new year began, we were having sex one morning and my other half completed the deed! I looked into his eyes and we carried on as if nothing happened. I knew my dates and I knew that nothing could happen but I also knew that by him doing this he must now be ready. A few days passed after sleeping together before we spoke about it and in an odd bumbling British way, we spoke about it. For a man that is nearly 40 years old him admitting to himself that we are now 'Trying for a baby' was a huge step.

So there we are, it's official, WE ARE TRYING FOR A BABY.