Ectopic scan

With the news still not quite sinking in that I was in fact pregnant, a few weeks had passed and the nausea had kicked in and although I knew 100% my body was going through some pretty epic changes, on the outside, nobody knew our secret, apart from me and my husband.

Visiting the Doctors

I was on the internet daily, signing up to every parenting blog, club, forum and ap available. I had visited the GP, to be told that I didn't actually need to see them, unless I thought there was anything wrong and that taking a pregnancy test these days was pretty accurate! They would pass my details directly onto the midwife team and I could expect to hear from them as and when they needed to see me.
This was the first shock. I was waiting to go to my doctors and do a more, well more professional, or more accurate pregnancy test. Surely my cheapy pregnancy tests from Tesco couldn't be what the doctors and midwives rely on to confirm a pregnancy and start the process of booking in appointments? They didn't even need to see proof of my preserved and saved pee stick! Yes, I kept it in the box for reassurance when I couldn't still believe I was actually pregnant. The doctors simply took my word for it.
I was expecting a quick appointment, get it confirmed by a professional, get some advice and then wait for all the routine appointments.
I was expecting at least a nudge of confirmation and congratulations but instead went straight home with our secret, waiting for our first introduction to the midwife team. This, we were told would be around week 8 to 10, we were currently around 6 weeks pregnant.

Morning Sickness and Beige food! 

As the days went past the feeling sick got worse, if I constantly grazed on beige food throughout the day it would keep me from being physically sick but the feeling was dreadful. Imagine a really bad hangover where you mixed all the wine, spirits and cider and then did several shots for good measure. However, this hangover never passes and just carries on. All the books advise you that staying healthy and eating lots of fruit and veg is the key during pregnancy. What actually works, in reality is actually beige food. That healthy food group otherwise know as carbs! Dry biscuits, crackers, CRISPS, nothing flavoured but hoola hoop after hoola hoop followed by pombears would pour down my throat. I was convinced the whole office knew I was pregnant, I mean I was a runner, I was healthy, I would never snack at my desk and would always, always eat lunch with several pieces of fruit. Suddenly this was all out of the window and I was eating constantly.

Some days it was easy to forget about the tiny seed growing inside me. It's difficult when feeling like you are going to throw up into your hand bag but sometimes in between those moments you feel completely and utterly normal. You get tied up in an important meeting at work and completely and utterly forget about what is going on inside your body and what is going to happen in 9 months time.

What are those shooting pains?

But then one day, this all changes. One day whilst going through your new routine of eating every beige carb in sight you get a new pain. You get an excruciating twang, like a period pain, but localised to one spot and then it's gone? I thought, well that was odd? I wonder if that's normal and proceed to doctor Google for answers. The pain comes and goes and little short sharp waves of stabbing pain wash over me.
As I search about for answers I start convincing myself it's all normal and implantation pains. Then another wave of nausea washes over me and suddenly combine that with these stabbing pains and I'm clenching my fists and gritting my teeth through the pain and in that instance, jump up from my desk making a break for the loo as fear vomit will be ejecting my face shortly.

I wasn't sick but the pains were washing over me in waves and I started to wonder if this really was normal? You hear loads of tales of morning sickness when talking to pregnant friends and family but no one mentions any waves of stabbing pain?

Giving up on doctor Google I decide to give the midwife a call and ask for their advice if this is normal or not.
The midwife asks about the pains, asks lots of questions, asks if the pain is one sided, of which it was, and then casually says "well it sounds like it could possibly be an ectopic pregnancy so we want to rule that out, come to the hospital tomorrow for an emergency scan"
I literally grabbed my belongings, cleared my desk in a matter of seconds and legged it out the door. I phoned my husband in tears fearing the absolute worst.
My mind was racing with hundreds of questions. What if the baby is an ectopic and we loose it? What if it's gone too far and I need a tube removed? What if this is the only chance I will ever have of having a baby and I loose them all? I've only just started to get my head around having a baby and now we might not be having a baby.
My husband is a superstar as ever and convinced me that what if it was all ok, and me stressing out would harm the perfectly healthy baby and convinced me to calm down and relax and wait for the scan and further results before panicking and getting too stressed.

Early pregnancy detection unit at the hospital

After a night of little sleep and many silent tears into my pillow I got up and took a shower and we headed to the hospital. We arrived via the maternity entrance. Women with bumps, women with their treasured folders of notes to see them through their personal pregnancies. Couples leaving the hospital looking petrified with their newborns and then us. We were pointed in the direction of the early pregnancy department and waited for our appointment.

We were called into the room and explained that they would look for a sack, look for a heart beat and look for quantity? Well that hadn't even crossed my mind that it might be twins! My mind was racing, we lifted my top, lowered the waistband on my trousers and covered me in a little jelly. The lady started to move the ultrasound around, she moved all over the place, pressing really quite hard and then stopped. I think at that moment my heart and breathing also stopped. She then said, there you go, that little splodge, that little flicking splodge is your baby. It's all in the right place and that little flicker is the heart!!!

Tears started to roll down my face, our little splodge was not an ectopic pregnancy. Our little splodge was real. The sonographer continued to scan away and then paused, she said "look, see ALL those bubbles rushing up the screen? That's gas"
GAS, WIND, FART!!! The cause of all that pain was bloody wind! I suddenly went from feeling the rush of emotions that our baby was in the right place to the rage of embarrassment. Did we just waste the hospitals time getting a scan for a fart??

Always get any worries or concerns checked

The sonographer was lovely and told us that it's always better to check and always happy to reassure pregnant ladies and no one is wasting anyone's time. She also agreed that trapped wind can often, be very painful and with my emotions going haywire it was the right thing to check.
She printed out our photo of our splodge and we left the hospital clutching this little piece of paper with a blob on it. It was our little blob and after the bubbles on the screen, we named it Bubble.

We were back to cautiously being excited and happy that we were pregnant clutching onto our little secret. We left the hospital, holding onto each other and holding our little photo. We were having a baby.